so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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