sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
