do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
