I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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