hell yes lets make some ravioli
You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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