I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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