He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
