This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
