We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
