I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
