So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
