help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
