Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I AM VODKA MAN
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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