So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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