his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
