you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize