I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
