"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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