So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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