I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize