But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
