You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
