he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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