***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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