Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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