Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
