So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize