Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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