Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
