My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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