i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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