haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
