Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
