I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
