No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Who died my cat blue again?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
