I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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