ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
