You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize