This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
