Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
