The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
