hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
