there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
