If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize