NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize