They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize