You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
