Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
