I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
