Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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