my vag is so smooth its legendary
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
FUCK WHALES
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
