Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
