IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
