Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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