I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have surprise drugs for everyone
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
