she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
