I'm really into asian looking animals
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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