yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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