I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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