i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
