Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
