ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
