He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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