Where did you get a picture of my penis
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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