Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
