you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
