I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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