If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
